Hotline Miami review

Okay, so I really didn’t know what to expect from this game only having the trailer and people’s tweets to go off of, but I’ll show you the trailer and let you make your own assumptions and draw your own ideas about it, then we’ll to the review.

If that wasn’t enough to make your head tilt to the side in a sort of "Whaaaaat?" gesture, then you’re a better person than I. However, I spent the $10 on Steam and downloaded the game. It’s amazing. You can quote me on that. It. Is. Amazing.

While it may not look like much, the game is a cleverly constructed piece of top-down shooting and crazy story. You may not understand it right away, but it is just enough to keep you from going, “Is this game just killing people randomly?” If it was, there would honestly be no real lasting appeal or motivation to continue playing after you got tired of it the first time.

Fortunately for us, the game has an eerie sort of Stanley Kubrick/QuentinTarantino thing going on that is both disconcerting and incredibly hypnotic. The music is just the right kind of late 80s lazy with a creepy indie vibe to it that makes you cringe but also entranced. Honestly, the game is a cross between one of their movies and “Super Meat Boy.”

This game is not for the faint of heart.

The game expects you to die and even encourages you not to give up. I found myself not frustrated or angry when I got killed, but motivated to do better and to keep trying. It does a wonderful job of teaching you that none of the situations in the game are impossible, only that they require a solid bit of thinking.

You’re able to shoot, stab, cleave, throw, punch and crush people to death. But be warned, every shot and hit is a one-shot-kill, even to you so there’s no stand-offs and there’s no way to charge into a room guns blazing without feeling like you’ll get mowed down yourself. You have to be smart in how you tackle certain situations.

Luckily, you’re able to move the screen a bit to see what’s ahead, if only a little. But the biggest help are the masks. The main character, a nameless man who is killing all of these people at the behest of mysterious voicemails on his phone, goes to each job with a rubber-animal mask on his head.

You can unlock new masks that have different powers. Some make throwing weapons automatically lethal, others make it so that dogs don’t attack you or display certain secrets spread throughout the missions.

It’s not an overly complex game, and there’s not a lot to talk about because you truly have to experience it for yourself. It’s worth the $10 and it has a lot of replayability because at the end of each level your score is tallied and calculated off of your combinations and creativity of kills. That, and the secrets and unlockable masks are fun to get.

Yeah, this is a pretty accurate description of the game in a single frame.

This game could have been done wrong in so many ways, but it’s so good that I’m thankful to find an indie game that shows the ability to remake an old type of gameplay and make it fresh and innovative. If you haven’t played it yet, you really should. It’s only just been released, so there will be bugs, but if you have the patience and the will, you’ll really have fun with “Hotline Miami.” It's a 10/10 throwback to crazy arcade games with an interesting story to keep you going.

PS Vita sales disappoint at 2.2 million units worldwide

I can't think of a single person who was actually excited about it.

According to a recent article from Edge, the PS Vita is being outsold by its predecessor, the PSP, by almost two units to one.

This really isn't a surprise to anyone since the portable system has been abysmally received in Japan and had one of the worst releases in America compared to any other handheld. Granted, the Vita probably had more commercials than the 3DS, and is more versatile and technically impressive, but something just doesn't seem to sit right with consumers.

In my article reviewing the Vita I stated that there really isn't anything wrong with the system per say. Really, the issue becomes the purpose and need for use of it. For the price tag, $250 new (I'm sure you can go to any game store and buy a used one), it makes sense. There is a whole lot going on inside of a PS Vita. The dual touch pads, high powered graphics, game types, music capabilities, movie capabilities, camera and WiFi connectability are all equally impressive and functional.

The problem arises from need. Gamers are really having to ask themselves if they really need this device. After all, it's literally a portable PlayStation 3 system and one of the big draws is being able to continue playing games off of your PS3 onto your Vita should you have to leave the house. Obviously, there aren't enough people interested in doing that at all.

When it comes down to it, a handheld system's strengths are in the ability to entertain for a few minutes up to an hour or so, then be put down. That's how Nintendo has done it for years and continues to succeed. The games on a GameBoy or DS were always ones that were easy to pick up, but satisfied you enough after putting them down a few minutes later. "Pokemon's" entire appeal is that it has the combat and adventure feel of "Final Fantasy" with a lower level of involvement. Sure you could spend hours on the game training and whatnot, but you didn't have to in order to have fun.

I mean, it looks fun.

The games so far on the Vita (we've done at least three reviews so far) have been good games. However, the best of them were the fighting games because really, that's the best example of the Vita as a handheld. "Uncharted: Golden Abyss" was an amazing game. However, the amount of attention and invested time to play it is too great for it to be a game you play on the go. So if you're not playing it out and about, but rather at home, there's no reason to play a PS Vita on a couch when a PS3 is there with all three "Uncharted" games.

Then there are the multimedia aspects like the camera, videos and such. With all the portable technology that is at the disposal of consumers in regards to tablets and even phones, there's no need to buy another gadget that has the capabilities that previously owned tech possesses.

The fact is that the Vita came too late to the party. Much like that friend who brings a six-pack of beer when everyone's already moved on to mixed drinks and hard alcohol, Sony brought something useful and competitive to the table, but consumers have just moved on. And for the price tag, it just doesn't seem worth it to even try it out.