 |
| How many castles do you people have? |
We've all encountered them at least a few times throughout our adventures in the myriad digital worlds we explore on a daily basis, and there are certainly many more than we could list here, but this is a list compiled by Jesus of his (least?) favorite cliches in video games.
1) Press Start to start!
Just started up that new game, huh? Well, after seeing who made this game, you get to see the logo of the game just in case you forgot what you were playing! Now that your reminded of what you're doing, you'll probably wanna play! Just push Start to....erm...start!
2) Push any button to start!
Can't figure out how to push Start? Well, sometimes you don't have to follow the rules and any button works fine even when it says to push start! Oh, mass effect 3 tells me to push start? I'll be a Renegade and push A, and it still let's me play! Renegade for Life!
3) The princess is in another castle!
Just beat that level or mission huh? Expecting to find your prize waiting for you? Nope! Someone has moved that item or person to another location! Wanna guess who? The game developers. That's who! Possibly in an effort to increase the amount of gameplay and frustration. Feel free to chuck your controllers at the wall.
 |
| It'll cure what ails you. |
4) The good ol' health bar!
You got about this much [++++___] health left. So, unless you find a health pack, food, or some sort of thing with a big red + on it, your gonna take a dirt nap pretty damn soon!
5) Regenerating health!
Because before you joined the military, you were apparently injected with Wolverine's mutant DNA, gaining his healing abilities! Go get that terrorist, son!
6) Double Jump!
Jump! Then Jump again! Simple right? Never mind the fact that you just defied the laws of gravity. At least you got up to where you need to go.
7) Floating Items!
Speaking of defying gravity, why in the hell is that Wumpa Fruit just floating in the air? Even more importantly, is it safe to eat? Oh, who cares. *Nom Nom*
8) Invisible Walls!
I wonder what's on that hill just over ther.....OW! My nose! What the hell?! I can't seem to move any further in this direction, but there's nothing in my way and no viable way of stopping me! I call shenanigans!
9) Jog in Place!
Eventually you'll hit that wall but you'll continue to run in place. Hey, even heroes need to work out sometimes ya know?
10) No Lifeguard on Duty!
Died when you touched the water, huh? Stupid fool! Don't you know you can't swim until the sequel? Unless you're Cole from Infamous. Sorry, man.
11) Nice Assets!
 |
| Nathan Drake ain't got nothing on her. |
12) Mini-games!
Because running around and jumping will tire you out fast. Why don't you take a break and play a quick game of cards!
13) The Strong, Silent type!
For some unexplained reason the hero doesn't talk. Even after a giant dragon has just dropped right in front of him and is ready to kill. Either he just crapped his pants or the voice module on his helmet won't work. Either way, he really livens up a party.
14) Awesome Trailer! Crappy Game!
Oh, wow! That game looks so epic! I must have it! A couple weeks later you're selling it for $5. Can you smell the disappointment?
15) In-Game Generosity!
Oh look, some ammo! Oh look, more ammo! Oh, even more ammo! Gasp! Some herbs and health packets! And a save point! Hot damn it's my lucky day! I'm pretty much set for the rest of the game! *walks into next room with giant snake boss*
Aw crap I knew it was too good to be true.
Feel free to comment with your own gaming cliches in the comments and we will compile them into a user-generated list.
